Question 1: "Enlightened" people always talk about I AM being the key to everything. I can't do anything with it. I can't imagine "I AM".
Oliver: You don't understand I AM because mind always puts the impersonal I AM on one level with a personal ME (including "my" body). The impersonal I AM which is always present isn't seen until this single thought of identification drops away. Afterwards, the I AM is seen as a kind of feeling of impersonal existence including EVERYTHING. It's oneness. There will be remembrance that this feeling, which can be compared with endless freedom, is well-known. Because it resonates always in the symphony of life as a keynote. So don't worry about the I AM. Relax and do whatever you do. The I AM is always present in every situation.
Question 2: Can you please explain to me the difference between "I AM" and "I I"?
Oliver: The "I" in the "I I" is just as unnecessary as the "I" in the "I AM" or the "AM" in the "I AM". If you like, just "I" is better and even better is ... (silence). Every word is too much and at the same time is quite perfect. The "I" is oneness playing the I. Like a house or a chair is oneness manifesting as a house or a chair. Mind can think about the "I AM" or the "I I" trying to understand it. But I can tell you that mind can think about anything it likes. Anyhow it's still oneness manifesting itself as a crowd of thoughts. Don't agonize over the I's and AM's. Just enjoy your simply BEING all the time and everywhere.
Question 3: What about emotions "after the enlightenment"? Is there a change?
Oliver: This question implies the assumption that enlightenment is a state different from non-enlightenment. But enlightenment isn't a state a person can reach and keep. Enlightenment can be described as the state of the stateless if you like. That means everything can change or not. So do emotions (feelings like joy, mourning, anger etc.) which are energies stored in the body. But after liberation there no longer is a person, an authority who likes to change or control something. Changes happen. Emotions simply happen as they did always before.
Emotions come and go like they are used to. Depending on the conditioning of the person (temperament, character etc.) emotions are different from human being to human being. Metaphorically spoken emotions can be compared with waves on the ocean of life. The come and go. Sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker. You are the ocean and the waves are the ocean too, no matter how high they are.
Question 4: I have fantasies and projections in my head, which bother me, throw me out of balance and weaken me. My mind goes round and round in circles. That's getting me down.
Oliver: What may calm you down is the imagination (= thought) that everything, every fantasy and every resistance against the fantasy is just a thought and that thoughts basically are just NOTHING. They are empty. The come and go like waves in the ocean and clouds in the sky. If these thoughts are so-called fantasies or projections (actually what's the difference?) or if it's only the one thought of identification with a separate person: Who cares? Why should I give my best attention to these very few of the billions of thoughts which arise constantly? It almost seems to be a kind of addiction to these few thoughts being described as "bad" or "annoying". Thoughts in the form of the working mind are here all the time and they are often very useful in daily life. They still will be there "after enlightenment" but aren't seen any more as a disturbing factor but as pure LIFE and ONENESS and therefore left to be. So don't care about fantasies and projections. They are just thoughts. If they are here, they are here. If they are gone, they are gone. Without any sense or purpose. Thoughts come, thoughts go. What stays all the time is YOU. It was and will always be YOU. Oneness.
Question 5: When I'm doing something how can I know that I'm doing it with right motives? By the way what is a right motive?
Oliver: In general there are of course no right or wrong motives of an act. Decisions are made. There is no need for "somebody" having the feeling it's "his" or "her" decision. Because there is no one who has an influence on which decision is made. It may sound strange for your mind but there is no such thing as a free will. Free will is an illusion. The acceptance of this fact means total liberation. Of course the judging mind has difficulties with an apparently difficult decision. But the movie of life is shot and the "right" decision is made no matter if your mind has difficulties with it or not. The decision, however it may be, is always just as it is and therefore perfect. It can't be different. You may of course change your mind after your first decision. Your mind may find a logical sequence of argumentation which gives you a reason to cancel your first decision. Afterwards, mind will say there was a wrong motive behind the decision. That's fine. They are still acts happening just like this. When the time has come for an act, it simply happens.
