Question 36: Spiritual literature often mentions the term "ego". Actually the ego is always shown as something bad. Something one has to get rid of. What exactly do they mean?
Oliver: If you've read this website carefully you might have noticed that I almost never use the term "ego". It's because of the following reason: As you wrote ego is often shown negative. It's shown as something which prevents you to get liberated. Generally a lot is said about the ego whereas every teacher seems to understand something different. So it's quite a problematic term which absorbs mind but generally confuses more than it clarifies.
Therefore, I suggest to see the ego as a crowd of thoughts. These thoughts aren't more important or special than others. No matter if I think about my shopping list or about the separation of "my" ego from "other" egos: thoughts are thoughts. They are empty. Nothing. In case of the ego one single thought (the thought of separation) identified himself with a crowd of other thoughts and now occupies with them eagerly. This little thought creates a separate person with its history and character (ego) and tries to keep it alive. Don't care about. That's the game of life. It doesn't concern YOU, oneness. It appears IN you.
Question 37: If you tell me that I don't have a free will and that I can't do anything in order to feel better I feel very stressed. I'm impatient and want to do something to change the situation. I can't just hang around and wait.
Oliver: It's completely clear that you feel stressed by the thought that you don't have a free will. But this "you" (the person who is stressed) is just a tiny little thought which built up a bloated building named "I am a separate individual" and now is trying to defend it by all means. The thought in a concept of a free will keep this defence doggedly. A very exhausting undertaking.
But when I talk to you I never talk to you as an apparent individual. In that individual I'm not interested even if perhaps this might sound heartless in the beginning. I'm talking to you as unity as if I was talking to myself. You, what you really are, unity, pure alive existence doesn't have to do anything at all in order to just be. This "just be" is always endless freedom and happiness even if the apparent "me" is unhappy, doesn't feel free or even is depressive.
You ask what you can do because you're impatient. Well what do you normally do? What do you like? What do you normally do voluntarily without being forced by somebody? It can be anything, for example reading, eating, watching television, playing soccer, meditate, boxing, sleeping, working, sitting on a chair and reading the newspapers, drinking coffee, etc. It doesn't matter what.
I suggest if you want to do something just do things that mean no effort for you because you love doing them anyway and forget about the concept of the free will, of the endless bliss and freedom and just LIVE as life lives you. That's it.
Question 38: What actually is the difference between "awakening" and "liberation"?
Oliver: Well, even confirmed non-dualistic teachers often make a difference between those two terms. From my own experience I can say the following: Awakening happens in one single moment which is chronologically well-known. It's the sudden realization that there are two me's: the personal me (identification) and the impersonal ME (oneness). As long as this "being awake" is considered by the personal "me" as a state it wants to keep (because it feels good) it's not liberation. Liberation occurs when the person disappears who is in the state of being awake. This process can last for a long time. Afterwards, there isn't an awakened person anymore but only impersonal freedom.
Question 39: Can you tell me why married men and women from "spiritual" circles play around and risk their families? It's strange that a lot of "spirituals" take it very easy with fidelity saying that everything is One, that nobody plays around and that it just happens, etc.
Oliver: As viewed in absolute terms nothing happens. But in relative terms, in the film of life, a lot happens. Many so-called "spiritual" people gather in groups of like-minded people where women and men talk very openly about their most intimate problems. There are often a lot of emotions and body contact in these groups (crying, hugging, etc.). If somebody joins such a group because he/she is unhappy at home, feels misunderstood or perhaps is sexually frustrated it of course can happen that he/she feels very comfortable in the group because there is a lot of empathy. This may lead to projections so it may happen that two fall in love or satisfy their sexual needs. Sometimes they use this as an opportunity to leave the partner or the family. If you ask these people why they are doing this, they tell you - like they learned and felt in the group - that it just happened.
This of course is not only a problem of spiritual groups but of any group with a lot of body contact (dancing, body work, etc.) and also for example for the group "workplace". In the game of life everyone basically wants to satisfy his/her needs. The old human war-game of attack and defense is also valid in a human relationship which basically is a horse-trade between give and take. If the conditioning of a human being is that he/she learned that he/she has to be faithful under all circumstances, maybe the own needs are suppressed which maybe leads to a subtle decline of the quality of life. If now in spiritual groups mind hears statements like "everything is one, everything just happens", the conditioned doctrines can be dissolved and new ones built, with all consequences which unfortunately can be painful for some people, relatively seen.
Question 40: Do you love your wife unconditionally? Wouldn't you be upset if your wife played around with other men?
Oliver: In general love is always unconditional because love is oneness. But how the conditioning of the body-mind in the film of life would concretely react to such a situation I don't know. I never know what kind of act is going to happen in which situation.
